D.Trump, Florida
"Once more I am going to be the most powerful geriatric in the world. My first act as president will be to restore my Petgirls.com membership now that I can afford it. I will need an extra stiff noodle when I make that call to naughty Mister Peter Putin. My second act will be to request Stormy Spaniels be trained to keep her goddam yap shut!"
Marvin Spacey, LA
"Imagine my relief when the judge threw out the case of me being a rampant shirt lifter! Well to shit on cancel culture I have un-cancelled my Petgirls membership and intend to spend the rest of my days whacking off to females from the comfort of my double donged sybian."
Peter Putin, Luhansk
"My turnip crop and prize winning goat was ruined this year by those bastard missiles innit. So what else I do but sit indoors in me adidas tracksuit and slippers and play the Call of Duty until it all over and we can carry on. What is the Petgirls.com katsap?"
Ken Kardashian, NJ
"Thankfully, my popular TV show has now been un-cancelled and I/it/She can once more live a private fully documented life that will distort all young girls' life goals. Imagine my surprise when I/it/She received a free membership to Petgirls for disservice to all fresh young female minds!"